RAW Thoughts 4/16/12

Match 1: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry for the WWE Championship in a No DQ Match, Featuring Chris Jericho

 

Right when this match started I had two questions. Why is this match at the beginning of the show and why did Mark Henry get the jobber entrance? Right away you know that Mark Henry has no way of winning when he isn't even important enough to get his own entrance. I also really miss the falls count anywhere match. Why can't they just add that stipulation to no DQ matches? Once the match goes out of the ring it really starts to pick up. Those kicks from CM Punk to Henry's back sound like they really hurt. I would love to see another Mark Henry title reign, but I do not want him to beat Punk. Speaking of the other champion, Sheamus beat Mark Henry in under 3 minutes in February. Now it is taking CM Punk over 10 minutes. Another great thing is the crowd, they were really into everything that Punk was doing. The match ended fine, but I was disappointed that Punk did not pick Henry up into the GTS. It was also announced that CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho is going to be a Chicago Street Fight. I can't wait! This feud has great psychology. Also, according to Jericho, anyone who goes into a pub must be drinking. I like how CM Punk said this even after I put it into my notes on the match.

Segment 1: R-Truth, Theodore Long

 I find R-Truth hilarious! The music in the background during this segment was perfect. I wonder where they are going to go with the whole thing of R-Truth trying to find Teddy Long a job.

Match 2: Santino Marella vs. David Otunga for the United States Championship

  Santino taking off all those shirts at the beginning was really funny. I noticed that Otunga is imitating Chris Masters. He has the cape that he drops at the beginning of his entrance and he does all the flexing. I really enjoy that Santino is getting some credibility and bringing that credibility back to the United States Championship. He has defended the title way more than Jack Swagger ever did. It was a short match, but it ended with something great... The Trombone!

Segment 2: Lord Tensai, Sakamoto

I think that Lord Tensai stopped Sakamoto because he doesn't understand Japonese. I mean, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler think it is important to tell us every week that he isn't from Japan, he just went there to hone his skills.

Segment 3: Brock Lesnar

 I still have a hard time taking him serious with his voice. Maybe that is why they always had Paul Heyman talking for him. He says that no WWE Superstar has ever had the accolades that he has. No one also never complained about travel like he did. He keeps bringing up UFC, but he always seems to let the NFL and Minnesota Vikings slip his mind.  I am really hoping Cena beats the crap out of him. I do not think this arrogance is him portraying a character. I legitimately think he believes everything he is saying. I really do not like Brock Lesnar.

Match 3: Zack Ryder vs. Kane

Someone needs to talk to Zack Ryder's doctors. He recovered from a broken back faster than anyone in the history of the world. I think that Kane should bring back Demolition with that mask he wears to the ring. Zack Ryder has really dropped in the pecking order. Michael Cole hurts my brain. He said, "Instead of Woo! Woo! Woo! Zack Ryder is saying Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!." Kane wins a quick match. 

Segment 4: Kofi Kingston, AJ, Daniel Bryan

  Daniel Bryan is quickly becoming one of my favorite heel personas. Changing the Lebell Lock to the Yes Lock was great. I wish I would have kept count how many times he said yes at the end of this segment. 

Segment 5: John Cena, John Laurinaitis

 Can't they just turn John Cena heel? The boos are not going to go away.  I like that they are showing more than just CM Punk mad at John Laurinaitis. I liked Cena's impression of Johnny. He had everything perfectly, including the raspy voice. I do like how they are going in a different direction with the Lesnar feud, than they did with The Rock feud. It is about time that Johnny got some theme music. His new music sounds so arrogant and it fits him perfectly. 

Segment 6: Hornswoggle

What was that?  I find it hard to believe that Hornswoggle has been with the company for 6 years now. It does not seem like that long since we were introduced to the Little Bastard.

Match 4: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

 YES! YES! YES! YES! I really enjoy watching both of these guys wrestle. It was nonstop action throughout the whole match. I really enjoy watching Bryan evolve into this heel and change his style of wrestling. On the outside, that turnbuckle spot was amazing. I like that Kofi actually got a chance to showcase his talent. Daniel Bryan wins! I think the WWE are fooling themselves if they think the yes chants are going to quit. YES! YES! YES! YES!

Match 5: Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler, Featuring Vickie Guerrero, Jack Swagger

 The only thing I hate about a Brodus Clay match is all of the dinosaur references Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole make. Speaking of dinosaurs... Here comes Vickie Guerrero! (Sorry, but I couldn't help myself.) At least Dolph Ziggler doesn't look like he is straight out of the Barbie section of a toy store this week. Another quick match. I knew it was too good to be true to expect an actual Brodus Clay singles match. 

 

Segment 7: John Laurinaitis, David Otunga, Eve

I hope this storyline with Eve is going somewhere. She is wasting TV time for valuable talent. 

Segment 8: R-Truth, Teddy Long

Can they just leave R-Truth out of matches and put him in strictly backstage segments.  I just want to hear him make his dolphin noise that he made during the debate before Elimination Chamber.

Match 6: Great Khali and Big Show vs. Epico and Primo, Featuring AW

Wow! I can't believe that the tag team champions are actually on television. Sometimes I even forget that there are tag team champions. This was nothing special. Just another short match and Big Show and Khali doing some sort of dance afterward. Why don't they just acknowledge that AW is Abraham Washington?

Match 7: John Cena vs. Lord Tensai in an Extreme Rules Match, Featuring Sakamoto, John Laurinaitis, David Otunga

 I hope that this starts a Lord Tensai vs. Cena feud. On commentary Michael Cole says that Tensai means distruction. I looked it up on Google Translate and I couldn't get anything for it. The closes meaning it gave me was reprint which kind of makes since. Lord Tensai is just a reprint of Albert and A-Train. I am still waiting for somebody to start a shave your back chant during a Lord Tensai match. Again, they make Cena look helpless. If you recall, this was the same person that everyone complained about because he never lost. Tensai's offense seem really stiff. Seeing the return of the mist is cool, but it is not as cool as when Tajiri would use it. Does anyone remember when Tajiri spit it into the face of Jonathan Coachman?

Overall Thoughts: Another good episode of RAW. They are really pushing the Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena match. I am a little worried because we only have three shows left until the Pay Per View and we only have three announced matches. I like that they did not have Lord Tensai squashing jobbers for months. *cough* Brodus Clay *cough* I hope after Daniel Bryan's feud is over with Sheamus that he does not just drop down the rankings. I want him to stay credible and enter into a new feud.

RAW Thoughts 4/9/12

Segment 1: John Laurinaitis, David Otunga, Brock Lesnar, John Cena

 Was there even a point to Johnny and Otunga being out there? Lesnar could have easily came out himself after the video package (awesome video package, by the way) and be interrupted by Cena. I was surprised that the WWE acknowledged UFC when Michael Cole mentioned that  Lesnar was a former UFC Heavyweight Champion. I was also surprised when Cena provoked the attack by slapping Lesnar. Maybe this could be a slow heel turn? (Hey, I can dream can't I!) When the locker room empties out I noticed that Dolph Ziggler sticks out like a sore thumb in his all pink attire. I still cannot believe that they showed Cena bleeding. That shows how high he is up on the WWE's list. You can only be shown bleeding if your Cena. Maybe the PG era is coming to an end. (Another hopeful thought.) Overall I really liked this segment and it showed a fire in John Cena.

Match 1: Brodus Clay and Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler

I think that Brodus and Santino make a great tag team. The beginning of the match was kind of boring with Santino and Ziggler going for pin attempts. This is the longest match that the Funkasaurus has ever been in and the first time he is knocked off his feet. Also, Lawler took a great shot at Cole saying if he was a dinosaur he would have reptile dysfunction. This goes way back to when Cole said Lawler couldn't make it because he had erectile dysfunction. I still was disappointed that Clay still squashed Ziggler when he was tagged in. Can we at least see him in a competitive match?

Segment 2: The Miz, John Laurinaitis, Teddy Long, John Cena

I am loving Cena's new attitude. I think he is becoming more intense even after his build up with his match with The Rock. He is now this guy who loves to fight and isn't the pacifist that he is sometimes portrayed to be.

Segment 3: Santino Marella, Curt Hawkins, Tyler Reks

Wow! Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks are on  my TV. Sometimes I forget they are even on the roster. As usual, Santino is his hilarious self as he looks for the stooges.

Segment 4: Santino Marella, Kane

Santino is funny again. Obviously Kane doesn't want anything to do with him. I think Santino wet himself a little when he saw Kane. I hope they have big plans in store for Kane after this Randy Orton feud.

Match 2: R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes, Featuring Big Show

I am really looking forward to Cody Rhodes getting moved to the main event. I have been a fan of his since he was in The Legacy with Ted DiBiase and Randy Orton. I like how they are having Big Show mess with Cody's head after the weeks of torment Cody gave him before Wrestlemania. I do hope that Big Show can get more embarrassing footage so he isn't showing the same stuff every week.

Segment 5: Santino Marella, Three Stooges

I am not looking forward to the new Three Stooges movie. I like their older stuff, but I do not think it fits will in 2012. All the jokes they did here just seemed to be outdated. One part I did really like is when Santino was teaching Moe how to do the cobra and Moe said that this is the Moebra.

Match 3: Lord Tensai vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Do you think Lord Tensai has to shave his back every week? I do like how this match actually has a storyline rather than random jobber A vs. random jobber B. Lord Tensai is a very stiff wrestler. I like how they are doing elongated squash matches rather than the one minute matches we were seeing from Brodus Clay. I also loved the Albert chants during the match.

 Segment 6: CM Punk, Chris Jericho

I love it when these two get on the microphone against each other.  I hope all the younger WWE fans are listening to Punk's message about the dangers of alcohol. I would love to see a CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan feud. It would be straight edge vs. vegan. Great psychology for this whole segment, especially when Punk said that he "smelled just like his father did." I'm interested to see what type of match they will have at Extreme Rules.

Match 4: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry, Featuring Chris Jericho

Another short match, but it told a story. I do not usually like DQ endings, but I feel like it was needed for this to show the mindset of Punk and what he is going through. With all this mentioning of alcohol, this would be a good introduction into a CM Punk and Stone Cold feud.  Interesting how they will censor bitch for Chris Jericho, but not for The Rock.

Match 5: Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio

The only reason I am happy that Del Rio is back is that Ricardo Rodriguez is back on my TV. I hope that Zack can move back up the card after this stupid storyline with Eve. Another quick match. This seems to be the theme for tonight.

Segment 7: Three Stooges, Kane

These stooges are very annoying. They are suppose to be promoting their new movie, it just makes me not want to see it. They are just not as funny as the originals. The fans had absolutely no reaction to them. I was surprised that they acknowledged Hulk Hogan on WWE TV, but that has got to be the deadest reaction I ever heard when Real American was played. On the plus side, Kane found the Stooges for Santino. And everyone thought he was a mean guy.

Segment 8: Mark Henry Interview

I cannot wait until the match next week. I am a fan of CM Punk and have jumped on the Mark Henry bandwagon ever since he introduced his Hall of Pain last year. I think, given the time, they will be able to put on a good match.

Segment 9: Brock Lesnar Interview

Is it just me, or does Brock Lesnar's voice not make him sound too much like a monster. He talks about leaving the company, but doesn't mention that he couldn't handle the traveling and that is why he left. First we have The Rock calling Cean Kung Pao Chicken and now Lesnar mentions Cena holding his jock strap.

Match 6: David Otunga vs. John Cena, Featuring Brock Lesnar

Maybe that is why Jericho is so angry all the time, Otunga stole all of his body oil. Does anyone remember when these two were the tag team champions? Otunga has turned from my least favorite member of Nexus, to an actually interesting character. I'm confused on whether they are trying to play Brock as a face or a heel.

Overall Thoughts: Today was a pretty good episode of RAW. They moved along the John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar and CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho feuds. The only problem I have is that all the matches were really short. They could have take away all this Three Stooges stuff and add more time to their matches. I am waiting for the time that John Cena gets the advantage of Brock Lesnar.